On Memorial Day, a former professor of mine at Austin Peay State University announced his intent to run for Tennessee’s 7th District Congressional seat. Dr. Greg Rabidoux will spend the next year and a half attempting to knock out incumbent, Marsha Blackburn (R-TN).

Rabidoux holds a JD and a PhD; Blackburn has a degree in home economics. Rabidoux is a moderate who spends his days educating America’s future, mediating disputing parties and just finished writing a book. Blackburn ran a promotion-event management firm. We will save that one for another day.

I worked with Dr. Rabidoux not just as a student but also as a fellow journalist. Rabidoux wrote a weekly column for The All State during my time there. His columns were not just informative, they reached the student body and taught it something even while making us all chuckle. He has a knack for knowing his audience and people respond to that. People respond to those who want to lead when said would-be leaders know the people. He is in touch with the Clarksville community and I look forward to watching and hearing about him grow more in touch with the entire 7th District in the coming months.

Earlier today I began researching Blackburn’s Congressional voting record. It’s interesting to say the least. I have to do a bit more research, and will write more about her record when I am better prepared.

Until next time…

The days go by filled with the news reporting an alleged invasion of the United States. The reports illicit no fear. Americans go about their days assuring one another that it will never happen — as the sip their venti double shot frap — wars just aren’t fought in America.

Then, one day a fleet of planes flies low over DC, Chicago, New York, LA, Atlanta, Miami, Las Vegas; planes are landing everywhere, in open fields, airports, anywhere they can find a spot. More planes arrive strategically dropping bombs. Well, as strategically as a bomb drop can be, it’s not as accurate as many believe. Bombs land on schools, hospitals. Children are burned alive, the sick blown up.

The white house is in flames. National guardsmen and women are activated. Army bases are on alert, releasing their own arsenal of weapons and planes. Oops, another miss, more civilians dead.

Power outages plague the entire mainland. Vehicles are useless, there is no where to go. Americans congregate with the neighbors, shaking their heads in astonishment, cursing their cell phones for lack of service.

Weeks go by, children count gunshots at night as cannon fire fills the sky. The adults cannot access their money, the banks have all shut down. Riots have broken out everywhere. Your neighbor is shot by another for stealing vegetables from his garden. No money. No food. No escape.

Bridges collapse. Schools that haven’t had bombs dropped on them are closed indefinitely. The draft is reinstated.

There are no rules.

Another neighbor just died.

You have no idea how your family in another state is faring. You have no idea if you have any out-of state family left.

The Statue of Liberty’s torch is at the bottom of the Atlantic. Wildfires are taking over California, Arizona and Nevada.

Your child is sick, there are no antibiotics.

Your other child stepped on a live land mine and lost her legs. She can’t feel them or see them since her sight was taken as well.

Women and girls are raped in the streets. Males are shot for being male.

America can’t hide in her unlit, homes with empty pantries and no fresh water.

Perhaps if more Americans educated themselves about the devastating effects of war, they would not be so quick to retaliate with guns. The media and Washington do not have all the answers.

I truly hope we grow up before learning the harsh reality on American soil.

until next time…

I support gay marriage, not just civil unions for homosexuals but actual marriages — just like the one I enjoyed with my husband. Gay marriage isn’t going to change the way heterosexuals live, it’s not going to corrupt the children and it certainly won’t devalue American culture. I don’t understand the fear and anger directed toward homosexuals and their American civil liberties. It’s racism with another face, another cause but the root is just as inane. Blacks suffered for centuries and continue to suffer all because of a darker skin tone, homosexuals suffer because they are attracted to the same sex instead of opposite sex. So what? Let it go! Gays aren’t going to come into your married bedroom and try to steal your significant other. Just because they’re gay doesn’t mean they want every person of the same sex that they meet.

Because of my adamant beliefs in homosexual equality, I sign every petition I can find, collect all relevant news stories and read them with emotional fervor. When someone speaks out against gay marriage or negatively about homosexuals, I stand up and make my voice heard too. I refuse to succumb to ignorance and fear.

Recently, the news has been deeply disturbing. With the hopeful passage of the Matthew Shepherd hate crimes bill, numerous politicians have been speaking out the gay community. Why?

Opponents of the hate crime bill say that is will take away American’s freedom of speech and that it is attempting to tell the churches what to do. That is not true. The hate crime bill does not take away freedom of thought or speech. If it did, I think we would see  media outlets, the ACLU and the KKK up in arms over this, but they’re not. The hate crime bill will not punish thought, it will punish homosexual-hate motivated crimes. Just as the Civil Rights Act of 1964 added more protection to Blacks, the hate crime bill will provide more protection to the homosexual community. People in love should not walk down the street holding hands while stuck in fear that their actions may warrant a senseless hate crime. That’s not fair. That’s not America.

Others will try to argue that the hate crime bill is putting more value on a homosexual’s life and not as much on a victim who was not homosexual. This is simple not true but an ignorant argument used to justify closeted bigotry toward gays. The bill does not put a higher value on one victim’s life over another’s. The bill targets the criminal and his/her motivation. Crimes of lust/passion differ from racially motivated crimes that differ from homosexual-hate motivators that differ from random criminal acts. There’s a reason we have profilers in the justice system because while every crime is different, there are similarities between crimes with like motivators.

The hate crime bill will make those who attack homosexuals just for being gay endure punishment (in some instances) harsher than those who commit random criminal acts or drug induced acts. Obviously, the homosexual-hate will have to be proven in the courts. Someone simply stating they were attacked because they are gay will not fly, it’s not substantial enough.

In the case of Matthew Shepherd, it was in fact a homosexual-hate motivated crime. The men who tortured him pretended they were gay in order to lure Matthew out of the bar. It was a hate crime. Period.

There is much propaganda out there right now. In order to know the facts, one must also know the lies and fallible arguments opponents are using. Check out the links below. Educate yourself and educate others. Equality doesn’t apply to just the majority in this nation, it applies to all Americans.

Stop the Hate

End the Lies

HR 1592

The blog below was written two nights ago in my journal. A real journal, with lined pages in between two beautiful pieces of leather, (or some leather-esque type material). It’s a moleskin journal to be exact, the same type Hemingway allegedly used, but “Papa” can’t help me now. The entry appears exactly as it was originally written.

Ok, so I used to be a writer. I mean, I still write, or at least I try to, but I think I’ve lost it. I used to say I was just trying “to get my pen and paper to be lovers again,” but I think they’re separated for good. I have a blog but it’s weak. I started it thinking that it would encourage me to write more, but it has only produced more stress. When it goes days and embarrassing weeks without a post, I freak out. Yet still the blog remains waiting for more content. Why do I blog anyway? Why don’t I just keep a journal as I always have? I think the answer is instant gratification. Instant comments, feedback and watching the read counter increase all give me an unbelievable thrill, I’m not gonna lie. 

But why do I need such an instant connection? Perhaps because I am not longer surrounded by creative individuals as I once was. Maybe I’ve lost touch with who I am as well. I always say “life gets in the way, be careful.” And it does! The mundane daily bullshit clouds our eyes, images blur and our self becomes hazy. 

I try to fight it, but I feel so tired, I just give up. I roll over and allow life to make me its bitch. When did I become so complacent? And why the hell did my creative self not fight harder?

My attention span has decreased too. Could they be related to one another? Could they have been causes of my increased anxiety? Between my Blackberry, Itouch, Mac and TV with hundreds of channels I can barely read a news story all the way through because I am so worried I’m missing something on another site, another device. I being my Blackberry to the bathroom with me for christ’s sake. Even now, I am wondering if I should stop writing this and get on the computer to turn it into a blog. I am out of control.

The only time I have any peace is when I am in bed reading — even then, if my phone dings, I immediately stop reading the book and pick up my Blackberry. I think I need to get a non-smart phone. Just a simple razor or something. Why do I need to be “wired in” 24/7? WHen did e-mailing while out to dinner become acceptable? Why do I get angry at my phone because it can’t hold 50 pictures? Why do I need 50 pictures on my phone? 

Why don’t I allow myself some peace? 

And why the hell am I still thinking about putting this entry onto my blog right away when I have a terrific book waiting for me on my nightstand?

until next time…

Dear Dubya,

I will keep this simple, I know you have a difficult time with language. How dare you! How dare you tear this nation apart playing both destroyer and martyr for 8 horrific years and then when the end is neigh, decide you need another 15 minutes to say goodbye to America. We said goodbye to you years ago. We lost our faith years ago. Remember Sept. 11? You were reading to children. You continued reading to said children while hundreds of Americans jumped to their deaths as raging fires enveloped their offices and eventually crumpled their buildings and then our spirit. But you kept on reading…even as death knocked on Americas doorstep and was allowed in because she had no protector. YOU were supposed to protect her. The masses spoke in 2000 and called upon you to perform the duty you promised us all you were capable of doing.

You failed. 

Remember Hurricane Katrina? I know you have at least heard of it b/c you mentioned it in you sad “goodbye”. America was not angry at you for not landing Airforce One in Baton Rouge. America was angry with you b/c again you allowed more Americans to waste away and die, leaving them without food or water for a week. Those 3000 or so in the Superdome were Americans Dubya. Not the dreaded harborers of WMDs, they were the people you were sworn to protect. You spent four days posing for cameras before you even went to New Orleans. FOUR DAYS.

You failed.

You called an end to the Iraq War in 2003. To date, 4,000 plus soldiers have died as well as thousands of civilians. Wars do not end just b/c you say they do. They continue until troops are called out of theater and brought home, to their families and not in coffins. Calling a soldier a hero during a press conference does not bring back his or her limb. It does not erase the screeching, bloodstained memories they have from living war. There were no WMDS. We may have found Osama by now, had you concentrated your efforts in Afghanistan, going after the real threat instead of finishing Daddy’s war. Thousands could still be alive to watch their children marry, to hold their spouses’ hands into old age.

You failed. 

The national deficit, the economy, the housing crisis, lack of quality education, race relations, stem cell research, gay marriage, abortion, fair pay for teachers, torture.

You failed.

You’re a failure, both as a president and as a human being.

Peace,

Stephanie L Coward

Tomorrow, I turn 29. Wow. As a child, 29 seemed so far away. Well, to be honest, I never thought about 29, I kind of skipped over it and just feared 30; and now 30 is a mere 366 days away. Anyone who knows me knows that I do not handle this getting old thing. But why? Maybe because I always thought to have more accomplished by 29? Maybe because I abandoned life for almost 3 years and now, knowing I have used up the proverbial 9 lives, I worry about tomorrow and forget to live today. 

I don’t know why I have such a fear of getting older. I don’t look 29 and I generally don’t act 29. (What do actual 29-year-olds act like anyway?)

Life is funny. 

Years ago, I planned to travel to many countries, I had quite the list. So far, I have only really seen Italy and Germany (Canada doesn’t count if you’re from NY). I knew I would leave Oswego as soon as I could, which I did. I knew I would get a college degree, which I did, though I took the scenic route. I knew I would always write, which I am but not nearly as often as I would like, though I am working on that.  I never thought I wanted to have children, which I don’t have still, though now I think I may want them. But, my body has decided it may not allow that to happen. I don’t really know what else I had planned as a child. I didn’t have a list. 

I have great friends, a wonderful family that I am very close with and a supportive husband. Each day, I grow more appreciative of the life I have. I try to live it though the hum-drum bullshit usually gets in the way. 

Perhaps pre-conceived notions about certain ages lead some to fear growing older. I think in general, the media perpetuates unattainable stereotypes. We see the minority displayed on TV and think that should be us. We don’t consider that what we are seeing is probably not the norm.

For instance, how many 29 year olds live in a 1300 sq ft flat in the epicenter of Manhattan and have the time to spend hours every day at a coffee house, sans cell phone, Mac and extra work from the office, if they’re even currently working at the time? (“Friends”)

How many 29 year-old women have children, work full time, go to mommy and me classes, cook the meals, clean and have a fabulous sex life? We see this so often, but it isn’t real. Wonder-woman has left the building. 

I don’t know what every 29 wants, I cannot speak for everyone. I am happy with the partnership my husband and I have. We both clean, cook, etc…and everything else is fabulous. I know I need to work on writing more, and I accept that challenge I have presented myself. I know I need more schooling, I am prepping for the GRE and will be in grad school in the fall — if all goes as planned. The kid thing will work out, one way or another and I am not stressing out over dishes in the sink anymore. 

One more thing, before I depart. Every person we meet in life is a stepping stone, a new beginning, a new lesson, etc…I have had many, many lessons/helpers/stepping stones and new beginnings throughout my life. Several left imprints on my heart. My grandmother for one. She helped mold me into the woman I am and she never let my head stay too high in the clouds for too long. My mother. She has been my mentor and best friend for as long as I can remember. She and I have been through a lot together. Heartbreaks, headaches, successes and everything in between. She is the strongest woman I know and I always try to imagine her perspective in difficult situations, that is only if she doesn’t answer when I call her numerous times for advice! My Aunt Mary left another imprint on my heart. She never had children, but all of us were “her babies”. Aunt Mary never ran out of love to give; No matter who you were, Aunt Mary would be there for you. She would fight for you until she took her last breath and never ask for anything. At this time of the year, many from my past, members of my family and past friends drift in and out of my stream of consciousness. Every year, I learn a bit more about these individuals, and a bit more about myself. I am grateful to them all. 

until next time…

I have been told that I put too much faith in humanity. Maybe I do. 

I have been told I am generally too emotional. Maybe I am.

I have been told that if I tried to do my best, I cannot expect more. But I do.

I have been told that I cannot change all that’s wrong with the world. But I try.

I have been told that I cannot make all the ignorant aware. Maybe I can’t. 

I had a rough evening. What started out as our normal starbucks and target run turned very sad. While in Target, there was a man pushing another man in a wheelchair. The man in the wheelchair had some sort of disability, what it was I won’t try to diagnose. The man was moaning very loudly, while waving his hands in the air — sort of slowly, not wildly or anything. Well of course we continued on our way but at one point I stopped and turned to watch what turned into a heartbreaking scene. While peering at the two man through a clothes rack, I watched the man pushing the wheelchair struggle with his bags and the wheelchair, while the other man was obviously having a bad time of things. This of course made everything harder on the pusher.

It’s obvious that neither of the men needed any other frustration at that moment, but they got it…

I am not sure what was said or if it was just a dirty look, but I heard the man pushing the wheelchair say through exasperated breath:

“Well, the state won’t give us any aid, so this is how it is. If you think you can do better, be my guest.”

That would be when I began to tear up and Joe tried to get me to move on. I know humans can be callous. I know people get frustrated when out shopping. But when did the human race become so horrifically hateful? 

1. No one offered to help this man. I have been at Target and many other stores with just two or three bags and been offered help to my car. (Which I always turn down.)

2. How could someone be so hateful as to be rude to anyone in that type of predicament?

We are de-evolving. But, I will continue to fight against hate, intolerance and ignorance until I am reduced to picking fleas out of my fur. 

until next time…

I haven’t updated the bloggy blog is so long and that stresses me out. First of all, I don’t know why I have a blog. Second, when I fail to update it as often as I would like, I stress. So apparently, I am a glutton for punishment. Anyway, I have so many things I would like to say right now, but I have an hour to shower and get to work, so I can’t unleash just yet…sigh…

Joe began a new job last week; he’s the head of security for a large company in Syracuse. I am still working at the same place, but I now have Saturday and Sunday off every week! WOOHOO!! Christmas is on it’s way and I am looking forward to speanding time with the fam. 

Still prepping foe the GRE. Still plan to be in Tennessee before the end of July. Still despise the cold, snow and New York in general. 

until next time…

I have been trying to decide how to approach last week’s Prop 8 decision in California. Should I throw a bunch of facts, stats out there and educate? Or should I chastise Prop 8 proponents for forcing their hate onto others. Because no matter how you spin it, denying people their civil rights is hateful and wrong. Hide behind your fictitious ”good book” all you want, it does not, nor will it ever justify hateful discrimination. If there is a god — this wonderful creator so many worship — and I was a “believer” than I would chose to believe in this entity not as a fearful hate filled energy, but rather a loving, caring soul connecting all of us on a higher level. (This also explains why I left the Catholic Church and shun organized religion all together, but I digress…)

After watching this message from Keith Olbermann, I realized I could not have phrased my disgust more eloquently…

until next time…

**Note: I do have many evolved friends who are both religious and supporters of all people and all their civil rights and I am SO THANKFUL for those individuals. When discussing religious zealots against Prop 8, these individuals were by no means classified into the same group as those other hate-mongers.

WOW! That’s really all I could say last night. I was unable to fully process the wonderful news. I was overwhelmed. America spoke. The people rose from their couches, went to the polls and voted in record numbers! Wow!

We spoke. We told Washington that we will no longer tolerate the archaic, white haired, white man ruling this nation with no reprieve. We not only wanted change, we demanded it. 

Two of my good friends and I used to spend hours sitting on my porch discussing race. Listening to their experiences both saddened and angered me. I never could comprehend how one individual could treat another so callously just because of skin color. Seriously. Hundreds of years of oppression, abuse, kidnapping, stealing, selling, misleading, sub-par education, “separate but equal” bullshit all because of skin color. 

Disgusting.

America should be ashamed of her history. The nation must repent for all its hatred. We need to begin healing. Barack Hussein Obama was not elected because he is a black man but because he is a wonderful man. An astute politician. The best person for the job. I believe he will be a magnificent catalyst for change that this country so desperately needs. 

• “We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back.” The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Aug. 28, 1963

There is so much work to do, but after seeing the numbers last night, I think that America is up to the challenge…

For the first time in a very long time, I am quite pleased with my country, not satisfied, but pleased. 

• “And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

                Free at last! Free at last!
                Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”  Rev. Dr. MLK Aug. 28, 1963

25 year ago, Dr. King had a dream, the election of Barack Obama brought Americans a step closer to fulfilling that dream.

until next time…